


black beneath

by Shinkirou



Category: BlazBlue
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Choking, Gen, Gore, Self-Hatred, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 21:30:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5021218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinkirou/pseuds/Shinkirou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's twisting up inside him, darkdarkdark, and all he can do is scream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	black beneath

Jin fights. 

Ragna wants to yell at him some more, to tell him what an absolute idiot he's being, that he's not strong enough yet and that he'll only be hurt, but... He can't, not anymore. There's barely any time, really, and he'd already told Jin and the others to escape. Telling him again wouldn't magically make him change his mind, and Ragna doesn't have the breath for it - or rather he can't control the breath he does have, the beast surging under his skin, instincts screaming at him to kill Jin, kill the threat, make sure the beast can go unchallenged when it emerges properly. 

Noel stays too, wanting to fight him as well, but... The beast pays her little heed, because honestly, despite her new powers, she's not enough of a threat to him. Jin is, though - maybe not right now, but he _could be_ , and the beast isn't fond of that at all, even though Ragna more than anything does not want to kill Jin.

They're brothers, after all. Despite everything, all the shit they've been through and all the fighting they've done, his goal has never been to kill Jin. He's had the opportunity to do so before now if that had ever been his intent, and he's never taken it, instead choosing to just knock Jin out. So this time... He's fighting the beast from the inside while Jin and Noel fight it from the outside, Ragna all but screaming to himself, pleading with them even though they can't hear him, imploring them to just _run_ already. 

But they don't - the fight lasts quite a while, but Ragna knows he's doing serious damage to Jin. Jin, who keeps telling Noel to get out of here - not out of concern, no, but rather because he feels this is his fight, that Ragna is his to kill and he doesn't want anyone interfering. A possessive idiot as always, Ragna can't help but think, even as he's doing his best to reign in back in, to get the beast off his brother. Stubborn prick, why couldn't he have just run...? Didn't he know he wasn't strong enough for this right now?

Of course Jin can't hold out forever - Noel screams for him as Ragna finally pins him to the ground, claws at his throat. Jin's bleeding profusely from multiple deep wounds, the amount of blood still doing nothing to conceal even a slight view of bone from Jin's shoulder and viscera from his stomach - Yukianesa digs through Ragna's shoulder, but doesn't pierce all the way through. There's not enough strength left in her wielder's frame to manage it, and Ragna's too lost to the beast to even more than dimly register the pain. Even the blades of Noel's that pierce into his back are barely acknowledged, the beast merely snarling at them and giving another slice to Jin's shoulder, stealing his strength and making it his own. There's nothing any of them can do except keep fighting, and Ragna's trying, but... 

All Ragna can do now is scream inside the beast, keep trying to fight him off of his little brother, because Jin is honestly going to die if he doesn't stop this. The feel of Jin's throat under his hands as the beast seems to want him to suffer, to choke the life out of him rather than kill him cleanly, make Ragna's control slip even further as he gives into despair, watching the way Jin gasps and squirms instinctively in his grip. The squirming stills before long, as Jin's conscious seems to fade...

But just before his eyes slip shut, just before he runs completely out of breath, the faintest little "Nii-san" slips from between parted lips. 

What the hell is he _doing?_ Ragna suddenly has clarity, enough control to reel it back in, to clamp the chains around the beast and make his talons release Jin's throat. He'd nearly given in, nearly stopped fighting it, too lost in terror to remember that he didn't have to just sit and watch. Still, the only thing he can hear is the way his _little brother_... Still doesn't draw breath. Jin lays completely still, and Ragna can only sit there in horror, eyes wide and tears he doesn't notice filling them.

"J-Jin?"

No response at all, not even the vaguest stirring. 

"J-Jin, h-hey, c'mon. You're going to kill me, right?" A nervous, shaky laugh, "Doesn't work if I kill you... C'mon, get up. Jin." He sounds a bit hysterical and he knows it, but who can blame him? Noel's approaching quietly from the side, clearly still unsure if Ragna's actually got it under control or not... But he pays her no mind, simply startles himself into motion, shifts down his little brother's body to press his ear - carefully - to Jin's chest, searching for a heartbeat. 

His own is too loud, hearing his own pulse as blood pushes through his body, adrenaline and fear making it impossible to hear anything over the sound of his body and the beast snarling in the back of his mind. He soon gives up on it, still ignoring Noel, and instead forces himself to breathe and leans forward, gripping Jin's cheeks to open his mouth so Ragna can seal their lips together. It's not even good CPR, because he can't bring himself to push on Jin's chest - he's fairly sure most of Jin's ribs are broken at this point, and he dares not risk puncturing a lung now. That wouldn't help things at all. 

He presses two fingers - carefully, too lightly - to Jin's throat, close up under his jaw, searching for a pulse, or a breath, or anything... He's desperate at this point, and tentatively pushes the fingers there just a little harder, searching... He forces himaelf to pull back, breathe, and repeat the motion, trying to force air into Jin's lungs, and then he feels it. Just the barest little thing, and he startles in surprise and loses it, so for a moment he wonders if he merely hallucinated it as he searches for it, but - no, there it is again. 

A pulse. 

It's weaker than anything Ragna's ever felt, his fingers digging into Jin's throat in a way that would likely be painful were he conscious to feel it, but it's _there_. Ragna's never been more relieved in his life, redoubling his efforts to get Jin to breathe until he feels just the slightest puff of air from between Jin's lips. 

Then the reality of all of it sinks in again, and he's up in a flash, far from Noel and Jin. Ah... Right. He's the reason Jin's in that state in the first place. The beast has taken notice of Jin's not-quite-dead state as well, pushing at his skin again, but self-loathing has always been a rather strong lock for him. Still, he's trembling a bit, terrified for Jin, hating himself now more than ever, and he knows he can't stay here any longer. He can't be where Jin is, anymore. 

His breath leaves him in a jumbled rush, "Noel, just... Just take him to Celica, please, I-- I can't stay, I have to..." 

He runs. 

He doesn't stop, doesn't look back, doesn't even check to see if Noel is following his directions, just _runs_. He needs to put distance between himself and this place, needs to get as far from Jin as humanly possible - it's cowardly, he knows. He knows he's running from this, from the judging and terrified looks he'd get if he returns, from the fact that Jin very well may not ever wake up again even if Celica does get to help him, from the fact that Ragna could have just killed his little brother. 

His stupid little brother who used to cling to him so needily, would cry with conviction that the moon was going to fall, would cry and apologize as he asked again to sleep in Ragna's bed, who forced himself to try some meat once just because Ragna was having some only to get sick later and fucking _apologize_ for it, would tell him he loved him a million times a day, seemed so sincere in it that Ragna could never imagine things turning out like this...

He doesn't know where he's going, doesn't care at all, pays no heed to anything except the distance he puts between himself and Jin. 

He runs until he feels like his lungs are about to explode, then runs some more, because even if they did, he'd deserve it. How could he let that bitch influence him enough to let go like that? Hades Izanami... Shit, nothing ever gets any less complicated in his life, does it? But he can't focus too much on that train of thought right now, self-loathing kicking up again as he recalls fighting Jin, and the state he'd left him in.

What if he doesn't survive?

And how will Ragna know, either way? He'd run, fled like a coward, and had no idea what would happen to Jin from this point on. 

Ragna's also quite aware that his own body is beginning to fail him. It's absolutely mandatory that Jin slays him before he can die a natural death, and he knows it, so perhaps running might make things harder for Jin, but... In this case, that's probably better. If Ragna stayed close, wouldn't Jin just try to come after him the second he woke up? It's better if Ragna's nowhere nearby so Jin can be convinced to rest more and train up more as well...

No. 

He's just making excuses and he knows it. He ran because he's a coward who couldn't bring himself to live with the reality of what he'd done. That's all there is to it. 

Eventually he literally cannot force himself to run anymore, lungs practically on fire and heart racing too fast to be considered anywhere near healthy, but he's far enough away that he's hopeful it doesn't matter. He simply ducks into an alley and slides down the wall, panting and gasping for air, thirsty as hell but not moving to do anything about it. He's exhausted, but he won't let himself sleep, not just yet. He's too afraid that the beast might claw at his skin again, push through his control while he's defenseless if he does. 

It never has, of course, but now that he's slipped once, it'll probably be harder to resist letting it happen again, especially as his own body grows weaker. Running all this way probably hadn't actually been that smart, on second thought, but he wasn't about to stay anywhere near Jin, either. At least for now the beast is quieter - now that Jin isn't so close, it doesn't feel threatened. If anything... It's probably taking this chance to rest up so it can wrench control from Ragna more easily later on. 

The thought isn't a comforting one, and he grimaces, but he can't deny it may very well be true. Even if Ragna manages to rest up, to strengthen his control to some degree, there's only so much he can do. His body won't hold out that much longer, and as he weakens, it only makes it easier for the beast to take control. 

But there's nothing he can do about that, unfortunately. It's not like he can undo the way he's crumbling around the edges, and so it's up to Jin from here to 'take care' of him. Which ordinarily wouldn't be a problem - or, not as much of one, anyway - because normally Ragna could theoretically just hold the beast down for long enough that Jin can make a quick kill... But things aren't that easy between them. 

No, Jin wants him to fight. He keeps saying it, that he won't kill Ragna unless he fights back properly first. More than that... Maybe it was just Yukianesa's special brand of insanity influencing him, but hadn't Jin always said "let's kill each other"? Lately, at least, he thinks it's been more "I'll kill you", but... 

What if Jin _does_ intend for this to kill them both? 

Ragna doesn't want to think about it, but it is a potential reality that he should be aware of. Jin hates Ragna, probably more than anything, but... He also loves him, in his own quietly desperate way. It pokes through, sometimes - usually Jin's too busy threatening him and goading him into a fight, but whenever Jin is tired or they're fighting someone else and even vaguely united, Jin sometimes allows his concern for Ragna to show through. 

So Ragna doesn't want to kill him. Despite everything, Jin is his little brother. If anything, he should be _protecting_ him, not hurting him like this... So he'll stay away. He has no choice, now. Cowardice or not, until he knows that Jin is fully healed and truly ready to cut him down...

He can't do anything else. 

He only hopes that when the time comes, he'll be able to stop himself from hurting Jin this much again... Or even that Jin is strong enough to defend himself. At what cost, though? He doesn't want Jin to lose himself, either... It would be easier if Jin actually _did_ hate Ragna. Completely, genuinely, all the way through. As it stands, will he be alright...?

They have no choice but to find out, in the end. All Ragna can do is hope that he can keep the beast down for long enough that Jin can recover and get stronger. 

This is bigger than just the two of them, after all. If Jin fails... Ragna will lose himself to the beast and the world will be under siege again. That's something that they can't let happen, and while it's not like Ragna's eager to die, he does at least know he needs to.

He just doesn't want to hurt Jin again. And he'll do anything to avoid it, even if that involves making Jin hate him; in fact, it'd be better if he did. But he can't let himself lose control like that again... So for now, he'll have to stay far away. 

He's sorry things turned out like this, but he won't go back on his decision. 

_Sorry, Jin._ It's the last thing on Ragna's mind before he passes out, oblivious to nightmares and the world alike.

It's probably for the better that way.


End file.
